My Turn

We’re just home from the hospital but this time Max WAS NOT the patient! It all started Saturday evening, while we were sitting on the couch watching a movie I had a quick onset of severe chest pain and numbness, mostly in my arms. Because I felt no better on Sunday morning I ACTUALLY said it was time for the ER (which immediately scared Michele because I always refuse to go to the doctor no matter how crappy I feel). Long story short after spending most of the day in the ER I was admitted for observation and Michele finally went home to the kids who had been alone most of the day.

On Monday morning I was set to bust out when the attending doc made it clear to me that he was NOT cutting me loose. When I saw that assuring him I was feeling fine wasn’t working I turned on the water works and pleaded to be discharged. He wasn’t budging. After hours of test after test after test and no sleep whatsoever Max showed up after school for a visit. He was quick to pass on some of his veteran tips for hospital survival:

1. Although he knew being in the hospital was boring if you ask for a coloring book and watch Sponge Bob it wasn’t too bad.
2. Never order the chicken nuggets, they’re soggy.
3. Avoid the hospital school and doing your homework at all cost.
4. NEVER let them put the IV in your hand (too late for this piece of advice).
5. Don’t cry if it hurts.
6. If you’re good during blood tests you’ll get a prize from the treasure box.
7. And most importantly, leaving the hospital is the best part of all!

Thank God I had Max to guide me through, it was really quite sweet….up until the point when they delivered my dinner which he dually sat on the bed to eat while watching Sponge Bob. Perhaps he was just demonstrating how well his tips work?

Fortunately everything seems to be fine, it was suggested I stay as calm as possible and cut out all sources of stress. I’m still laughing my you know what off at this prescription but at least I’m home so they can’t consider moving me to the Psych floor for hysteria!