Sometimes This is So Hard Part II

Although I thought my last post covered most of the realities of Max's school day, last night I was hit in the face with a little more reality. As usual Max came home from school with his report for the day, how he did, what he did, etc. Most of it was typical stuff but as I got to the very bottom of the page there was a short note that read, "Max was sent to the RC today" followed by a frowny face. Not knowing what the "RC" was I didn't know what to think but the frowny face indicated to me it wasn't positive whatever it was. When I asked Max about what happened he immediately became agitated and told me he couldn't remember, the more I pressed the harder he cried. At this point I didn't know whether to scold him or comfort him because I really didn't have a clear picture of what had happened.

When I took him to the sofa and talked to him eye to eye I could see the tears well up and run down his face, it was really heartbreaking. But still I didn't know what happened. As Max talked, as best he could through his tears, I came to understand that the "RC" was where you were sent in the office for being bad. OK, great Max had misbehaved and clearly someone would throw this in my face at some point....or so I thought. As Max continued I came to understand that during recess the rest of the boys were playing football and they wouldn't let him play because he wasn't as strong or fast as they were. In fact, he said he was tired of never being picked to be on a team. He told me that all he wanted to do was play the game with the other boys so he tackled the kid who had the ball. That's when all Hell broke loose, Max got in trouble for tackling the little boy although he said they were playing "tackle". Hence Max's trip to the "RC".

By this point I was comforting Max with my own tears streaming down my face. How do you possibly confront this situation in a manner that is both positive but also realistic? Do I explain to Max that today's events are only a taste of things to come or do I tell him it's OK and those boys just don't realize they're being mean? On one hand I don't want to crush Max's self-esteem by telling him that he is "different" but on the other hand I would prefer this news come from me, someone who loves him to pieces just the way he is, not someone who doesn't care one way or another. I really do hate this because either way I will question if I handled the situation correctly. I can't let Max get away with bad behavior and bad choices just because he is frustrated even if what is frustrating him is some other idiot's actions.

So as best I can tell I have to make a trip to the school on Monday morning and straigthen this whole mess out. Believe me there are days I just wish I could keep Max home and protect from the lunacy of the "real world" but logically I know that's not realistic or fair to him....sometimes this is all so hard……