Anger

Webster’s Dictionary defines “anger” as:

A strong passion or emotion of displeasure or antagonism, excited by a real or supposed injury or insult to one's self or others, or by the intent to do such injury.

Anger management experts define “anger” as:

Anger is defined as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility and is a root cause of many problems, unless an effective form of anger management is used.

Today I am a very strong candidate for anger management classes. After hours and hours of dealing (read arguing) with United Healthcare over their coverage, or lack thereof, of Max’s most important cardiac drug I am absolutely fuming! The highlight of this exercise was when a call-center representative, probably making slightly over minimum wage, asked me why the doctors just didn’t change the medication to something else. I asked her when she had graduated from Medical School and thus felt qualified to suggest another drug. I don’t think that helped my case much but at that point I felt it was better than cursing at her.

And so yet another appeals process has begun. I wish that I had started a running count of these processes when Max was born, surely between his two insurances I have gone through hundreds of appeals. The beauty of it is that I always win, but it usually takes months and months of soaring anger levels and blood pressure values. I have told these companies on more than one occasion, “you can do what I’m asking for now or you can waste six months and dozens of hours of resource time and expenses and still do what I’m asking for, you choose.” Again, this doesn’t win me any popularity contests with insurance companies but it is an accurate representation of how these things go. It’s just a long, slow, painful dance that parents of chronically ill children know far too well and although we are familiar with this dance it still sucks all the life out of us each and every time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this is without a doubt the part I hate most about managing Max’s care. Ten years later it’s the same garbage over and over again, the only difference is I’m now 10 years older and I’ve grown weary, cranky, and angry…..

…..and thus my candidacy for anger management classes.