Why me, Mom?

A few years ago a friend of mine gave me a poem. I remember thinking little of it at the time. Max was an itty bitty baby and still in the hospital that first year of life, I could not see the importance of these written words. In fact if I hadn’t spent some time today cleaning out all the files on my laptop I would probably have never seen the poem again.

But my very wise friend saw something profound in these words. She was single at the time, had no children and a clear mind. I was an exhausted mother of two who hadn’t seen the light of day outside a hospital room for nearly eight months. Our perspectives were different. But she told me then that she wanted to give this to me because she thought it would be important to have when Max asks us for the first time, “Why me?” Fast forward seven years and we’re just about at that point. I think Max may not have asked us this question yet because he is incredibly clever and he knows why he is different. By this I don’t mean that he understands the physical differences (as he would say that’s a “no-brainer”) between himself and his friends but rather he sees the philosophical differences. He “gets it”, he knows that his journey has changed many lives and he takes it in stride as though he understands his purpose. I know that what I’m writing may sound a bit melodramatic to some but to a parent of a special child we see it, we understand it. As much as parents of chronic kiddos don’t like to see their kids as different, they are. Not because they can’t walk, talk or run like their peers but because they have a far greater purpose -- they teach us how we should walk our walk, run our marathon and talk with kindness and compassion. I know we are better people because of Max and I sense he knows this. Remember he’s the kid with the super-sized ego, all good emanates from him (or so he tells us)!

Without further adieu or dramatics I share the poem that meant nothing to me seven years ago but caused me a Kleenex fest today!

When you want to scream, "Why me?" remember that this "difference" is a gift. God has allowed you the opportunity to be an example to many others.

He has allowed you the chance to see others who are in need, and because you must go a little slower, you can take the time to reach out to them and welcome them to come along.

He has given you the chance to create your own dance and be your own person. You have learned that it is okay to be who you are and that "you" are a very wonderful person to be.

He has given you friends who walk beside you and cheer you on.

He has given you family who will carry you whenever you are in need.

Why you? Who else could teach me to hold tightly to my children, because they are not really mine? They have only been loaned to me until their heavenly Father receives them home.

Who else could teach me to tell others they are loved because tomorrow may not come.Who else could show me that despite my selfishness, selflessness does exist within me? I would quickly and gladly take this suffering from you and make it my own.

You have given, you have taught, you have loved.

Why you? Because God knows your strength, your beauty, your joy. He knows that you can carry this cross, when there are many others who could not. He knows in His heart that you can handle the differences in you. He knows that you could take this blessing and bring others to Him because of it. You are an angel given a delicate package.

So, whenever you say the words, "Why me?" do so with reverence and awe. For God has chosen you - with love.

Thanks Max for not only making me a better Mom but also a better person!